Cleaning House

jpeg There’s something about a change of seasons that calls for inner transition. Just cleaning out your living space can do wonders for balance and centeredness. Simply stated, creating physical space correlates with creating mental space.

But you can go much further than that. You can apply the same principles to other aspects of your life. The clutter you keep may include activities in which you half-heartedly engage. It can also refer to the company you keep.

Take inventory of all the entities that surround you that are pulling from your reserve of energy. Take time to review areas where you must say no. Carefully consider the people around you who are weighing you down. Of course, you can’t discard people like you discard things, but perhaps it’s time to decrease your interactions. At the very least, be vigilant of the way you feel around them and vow not to get caught up in another’s vortex of negativity.

Release all of the things taking up your emotional space. Reclaim your wholeness.

Give yourself room to breathe again.

If you need some more inspiration, check out the new book by my dear friend Dr. Melva Green and co-author Laura Rosenfeld. “Breathing Room” will give you everything you need and more.

The Grown Woman’s Oath

I’m tired.

GWTired of watching the madness around me. Tired of watching grown women acting like children. Tired of atrocious behavior being rewarded. Tired of the ubiquitous images of unattainable perfection. Tired of the stereotypes being perpetuated and subsequently adopted without question. Tired of the forced baby voices. Tired of the overall dumbing down of womanhood.

But most of all, I’m tired of the way that far too many of us have come to view ourselves and subsequently treat each other.

Who’s responsible?

Reality TV? Hollywood? Magazines? Plastic surgeons? Freakin’ photoshop?

We can challenge and change all the external influences we can identify. But, at the end of the day, nothing matters if we don’t address our internal beliefs. We all know that nothing really changes if we don’t change ourselves and our selves are all we have control over anyway.

I hate to use the words “should” or “shouldn’t” but what the hell. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves and we shouldn’t be treating each other in the ways that we do. Yeah, yeah. I’m supposed to be all spiritual and honoring others’ paths, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes you just have to call it like you see it.

There is way too much dysfunction displayed when it comes to women’s relationships and many are mistaking those caricatures for reality-and don’t get me started on the depiction of minority women. It’s time to stop internalizing the non-stop parade of BS and act like the adults we are.

So if you are a grown woman, take the pledge. If you aspire to be grown, take the pledge. If you couldn’t care less, you’re the one who needs to take the pledge most of all.

Like it. Share it. Most all, live it. We can do better.

THE GROWN WOMAN’S OATH  (Download the Text PDF) (Download the image)

Other women are not my competition.

The old paradigm of “there’s only room for one” continues to be broken down. We still have a way to go, but it is up to us to create room for the next woman – not elbow her out of the way.

I admit that gossip is pointless.

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt (a debated credit, but I’m going with Eleanor.) Which mind do you have? Or are you just out of your mind?

I acknowledge that womanhood is self-defined.

Wear a Gucci belt or a tool belt. Have a child or don’t. Get married or not. There’s a spectrum of womanhood. Do you.

I recognize that women have value at every age.

There is no need to feel shame or shame others for the appearance of grey hair, wrinkles, or freakin’ cellulite. Your essence is ageless.

I do not use my emotions as an excuse (to act the fool).

Emotions are indicators that can be used to explore underlying issues. They are not to be suppressed but don’t use them to justify throwing over tables and choking your frenemies. Really?

I hold my sexuality as sacred.

There is nothing wrong with “being sexy.” However, if that is all you lead with, you will never be seen or respected for the whole person you are. It is part of you but it does not wholly define you. Celebrate it without compromising your wholeness.

I will give up comparison.

There will always be another woman with smaller thighs or a bigger bank account. The only comparison you need to make is how you used to be and how far you’ve come.  

 I always speak in my true voice.

Your voice is worthy of being heard. There is never any need to downplay your truth due to insecurity or in an attempt to manipulate.

I am certain of my exquisite nature.

Beneath the layers, you are a unique, invaluable, & divine being. Believe.

Do any of these resonate with you? What do you think is the worst problem that plagues women at the moment? Leave a comment.

Why “You Complete Me” is Total Bull$h!+

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Don’t believe it. It’s crap. Absolute crap.

Let me save you the trouble. Nobody holds the key to you being “complete”…whatever that means. The desire to use another person to fill something in you that is missing is dangerous behavior. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

Note: if you’re into the whole dominatrix thing, no judgment. That’s your business. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about effectively relinquishing control of your life to something outside of you in order to define yourself.

This is a HUGE problem. It’s not just a theme we find in “romantic” relationships. This is something that many people apply to several aspects of theirs lives. If it’s not the significant other, it their children. If it’s not the children, it’s the luxury home. If it’s not the luxury home, it’s the wardrobe. If it’s not the wardrobe, it’s the job title…and so on and so on.

As long as you’re looking outside of yourself for the next piece, you will always be at a loss. Why? Because there will always be something else you can acquire. It’s an endless pursuit. Besides, anything that is outside of yourself can be taken away from you at any time. Then what?

You aren’t looking for completion. What you want is wholeness.

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Wholeness is something that comes from within. It’s an individual state. It’s a gift you give yourself.

Wholeness is being comfortable in your own skin. It’s knowing that you are taken care of. It’s about following your intuition and living your truth. It’s about alignment with your soul’s purpose. It’s about integrity.

Have you been chasing completion or creating wholeness? What things are you allowing to fill you right now? What sort of things have you struggled with in the past? How did you get past them? Leave a comment. This is a conversation worth having.

7 Soulmate Secrets – Thursday, Feb 21st

urlFebruary is undoubtedly the month of love. A couple of days before Valentine’s Day and people are getting ready for romance…and major disappointment. It’s been years since I felt the angst of another impending February 14th and no one to share it with. It has been years since I somehow felt that I was worth less if I didn’t receive some sort of acknowledgement.

And that’s not because I met the love of my life…most of my Valentine’s Days of the last decade have been spent by my damn self. And now that there is a special someone, I can verify that my interest in February 14th hasn’t changed.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a beautiful thing to celebrate love – but it doesn’t belong to one day. Instead of the standard show of love on the designated day, I’m much more interested in sustaining a spiritual partnership that fills me consistently. I’m interested in the growth that it presents. I’m interested in the practice of love, not the imagery of it all.

This month in the 360SOUL sessions, I’ll be presenting “What’s Keeping Your Soulmate Away: 7 Reasons You’re Alone (even if you’re in a relationship).” Join me on Thursday, February 21st, 8pm EST for this free tele-seminar when we look at love from a spiritual standpoint. Really, the only standpoint that matters. Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤

How to Capture Love

Heart-on-top-of-stones1How can you possibly capture love with words? It’s impossible but I just had to attempt it. Especially after my last post, I had to do something to remove the aftertaste of the sometimes bitter life experiences. I had to remind myself about the goodness that life has to offer…a bird’s song, a first kiss, a mother’s hug, a best friend’s encouragement. I had to immerse myself in thinking about love

Fortunately, Aspire magazine was looking for articles about love so I submitted this piece, “What is Love?” As I was writing, I found that it basically wrote itself. It was an outpouring of Divinity that was begging to be expressed. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing, remembering, willfully submerging…

 

Love: One Size Does Not Fit All

I will have way more to say on this topic in a future post, however I will post this short video touching on the subject. I’m in the midst of doing a Video Challenge where participants are to produce a video everyday (weekday) for at least three weeks. This is the fourth video I’ve put out since joining the challenge earlier this week.

What do you think about how people define love?